Its soo warm. Our garden has produced its fair share of yield, and we'll start a planting a new crop. Spring in SoCal is so different from my mid-west youth. Regardless, this blog is about Words that transform, change, challenge. I like Bill Wordsworth. I have a couple readers of his writings. This poem, given so much of the news today filled with man's 'short comings', seemed fitting on this 80 degree, Spring day.
Lines Written in Early Spring By William Wordsworth
I heard a thousand blended notes, While in a grove I sate reclined, In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts Bring sad thoughts to the mind.
To her fair works did Nature link The human soul that through me ran; And much it grieved my heart to think What man has made of man.
Through primrose tufts, in that green bower, The periwinkle trailed its wreaths; And ’tis my faith that every flower Enjoys the air it breathes.
The birds around me hopped and played, Their thoughts I cannot measure: – But the least motion which they made, It seemed a thrill of pleasure.
The budding twigs spread out their fan, To catch the breezy air; And I must think, do all I can, That there was pleasure there.
If this belief from heaven be sent, If such be Nature’s holy plan, Have I not reason to lament What man has made of man?
There’s a short address called “On Forgiveness” in a collection entitled, The Weight of Glory, by C.S. Lewis. With his usual penetrating insight, he illuminates this difficult but indispensable element of Christian life. So, without further ado:
“…If you don’t forgive you will not be forgiven. No part of His teaching is clearer, and there are no exceptions to it. He doesn’t say that we are to forgive other people’s sins provided they are not too frightful, or provided there are extenuating circumstances, or anything of that sort. We are to forgive them all, however spiteful, however mean, however often they are repeated. If we don’t, we shall be forgiven none of our own…
“I find that when I think I am asking God to forgive me I am often…asking Him to do something quite different. I am asking Him not to forgive me but to excuse me. But there is all the difference in the world between forgiving and excusing. Forgiveness says, ‘Yes, you have done this thing, but I accept your apology; I will never hold it against you and everything between us will be exactly as it was before.’ But excusing says, ‘I see that you couldn’t help it or didn’t mean it; you weren’t really to blame.’ If one was not really to blame then there is nothing to forgive… what we call ‘asking God’s forgiveness’ very often really consists in asking God to accept our excuses… We are so very anxious to point these [‘extenuating circumstances’] out to God (and to ourselves) that we are apt to forget the really important thing; that is, the bit left over, the bit which the excuses don’t cover, the bit which is inexcusable but not, thank God, unforgivable. And if we forget this, we shall go away imagining that we have repented and been forgiven when all that has really happened is that we have satisfied ourselves with our own excuses…
“A great deal of our anxiety to make excuses comes from not really believing in [the forgiveness of sins], from thinking that God will not take us to Himself again unless He is satisfied that some sort of case can be made out in our favor. But that would not be forgiveness at all. Real forgiveness means looking steadily at the sin, the sin that is left over without any excuse, after all allowances have been made, and seeing it in all its horror, dirt, meanness, and malice, and nevertheless being wholly reconciled to the man who has done it. That, and only that, is forgiveness, and that we can always have from God if we ask for it.
“When it comes to a question of our forgiving other people…here also, forgiving does not mean excusing. Many people…think that if you ask them to forgive someone who has cheated or bullied them you are trying to make out that there was really no cheating or no bullying. But if that were so, there would be nothing to forgive. They keep on replying, ‘But I tell you the man broke a most solemn promise.’ Exactly: that is precisely what you have to forgive. (This doesn’t mean that you must necessarily believe his next promise. It does mean that you must make every effort to kill every taste of resentment in your own heart—every wish to humiliate or hurt him or to pay him out.)… In our own case we accept excuses too easily; in other people’s we do not accept them easily enough… To excuse what can really produce good excuses is not Christian charity; it is only fairness. To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.
“This is hard. It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single great injury. But to forgive the incessant provocations of daily life—to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish daughter, the deceitful son—how can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night, ‘forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us.’ We are offered forgiveness on no other terms. To refuse it is to refuse God’s mercy for ourselves. There is no hint of exceptions, and God means what He says.”
We have a short prayer in our tradition: “Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us. Since we have no excuse for our sinfulness, we can only offer You this prayer, O Master: Have mercy on us!” We don’t make excuses; we even assert that we have none, which means we really are asking for forgiveness. I think the key passage in Lewis’ address is: “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” We all have our work cut out for us…
This morning I ran a 5k. I blinked and it was over. It was a fun run, and I'm glad that I did it.
Recently, I've been reading Ecclesiastes. King Solomon in his most existential self, reminded me that "two are better than one, for they can help each other succeed (eccl. 4:9 NLT)" - as i had a running partner who has kept me encouraged. As a "marathoner", there has been times that I hadn't thought that I needed a running partner - but the verse is true! Even on three miles, It helped tremendously to have a running mate!
This got me thinking about change. Seriously. Sounds weird. But running, training, and especially marathon has stages. I found this post on Great Leadership - and it really affirms the fact that if we understand stages of change, it can help us "marathon" through!
I'm finding that it is easy to be distracted. And I need faith. I need help from others. I need to understand the many stages.
Proverbs. It's been said they are Rules for Living. I believe Proverbs are all around us - and lived out of us - I suppose that's why I like this photo to the right. To write a proverb on one's body, implies the desire to know it/live it/be it. This week, I've been sick, physically down with a cold. A cold that came to me from a visitor via Amsterdam - a sort of euro-bug - but none the less a bug that I caught. I know that words are powerful. That is why I have this blog. Dunami - a powerful word from 'without' or above - I want to live powerful, Godly, words. I came across a Proverb this week that struck me odd.
- "...pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. Don't lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body. Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." Poverbs 4:20 - 23 NLT
First, I'm struck by the confirmation of "dunami", itself. Be careful to remember good and wise words for they have a power... a power to bring life and healing! I'm like most, I suppose, when I get sick - I get down. I'm listening to "low" words. This verse reminded me to "guard my heart" and listen to wise, life-giving words.
Again.. another proverb that strikes the same chord:
"Don't be impressed wiht your own wisdom, Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing in your body and strength for your bones." Proverbs 3:7-8 NLT
I mentor at-risk High schoolers. I do this by spending time with them. Lots of time, in fact. I mentor them in life skills and goal setting, while training for the Los Angeles Marathon - May 25th. This week I had the opportunity to share some of my coaching principles with a class of high schoolers. I spoke about these principles as something that anyone can apply. I was so encouraged afterward that a quiet student stood by waiting for a moment to engage with me. He said that was I share he wants to apply and really felt inspired!
In my mentoring, I talk about the four "C"'s of running the race of life: - Commitment - keeping a focus and follow-through on goals - Consistency - Regular practice, reflection by having routine times and meeting places - Contact - Showing commitment and consistency by having a "running mate" - someone that you share the goals and experience with. - Courage - practicing openness and risk by facing fears and concerns
All together these four "C" look like leadership. Leadership from this perspective is something that everyone can do. That is, everyone can live a life of integrity where their words match their actions - this takes personal action. I find that in marathon training, there is a point where the runners understand this in a powerful way - that is, their commitments grow, as they're consistant, their need for contact grows and as they practice courage it leads them to a deeper commitment and a greater integrity in their character.
Lastly, these four "C"'s are powerful words, because they remind us of what really matters - living a life of faith. In the book of Hebrews it says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." It is this perseverance that inspires me to spend time, speak with, and share my life with high schoolers. I'm excited to see them run further and faster than I ever could! (Julie giving some much needed hydration to some of the runners)
I'm presently, working on my Thesis for Pepperdine University. This Thesis is focusing on forgiveness as it is practiced in and through the small group context. In my research, I've come across some fascinating words that relate to forgiveness. Seeing as how this blog is presenting the power of Words... in words and deed... I think this relates.
My research is looking at a particular type of group; Christian small groups. Because of this context, I've needed to understand more about the Biblical words for forgiveness. This is important because these groups look to the Bible for definitions on such matters and for guidance and practice. Below is a section written to understand forgiveness from the anxient texts of the Old and New Testaments.
One of the first things likely to strike a contemporary western reader who investigates New Testament discussions of forgiveness is how little it appears to have to do with feelings and how much it has to do with actions and relationships.For the Christian, sin, or imperfect motives and actions, causes separation and alienation from God and others.For Christians, they see a God who desires forgiveness to be experienced in a vertical relationship with the Creator, and in our horizontal relationships with family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances.First there is forgiveness from God through Jesus Christ, and out of this is comes a congruent lifestyle of Christ-likeness, by forgiving others.
Because Christians look to the Bible for guidance, it is significant to understand the key words that are used for forgiveness.There are a number of words that relate to forgiveness (Richardson, 1966).Kippur (atone) and shalach (let go) speak of God’s forgiveness exclusively, never humankind’s. Nasa’ (lift up, bear, dismiss, send away) is the term for forgiveness most often used in the language of the Old Testament, and may refer to either human or divine forgiveness. The New Testament translates three Greek words to speak of forgiveness. Apoluo (let go, loose) and charizomai (be gracious) appear far less frequently than aphiemi (let go, send away, pardon, forgive), which more nearly serves as a parallel to nasa’, the Old Testament term. In forgiveness, barriers are removed as sins are sent away and persons are drawn together in relationships.In the New Testament, agapao or agape (love) refers (among other things) to God’s constant love toward undeserving sinners. Agapao or agape denotes a love determined by the character of the subject rather than the merit of the object. Jesus exclaimed, “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another” (John 13:34). The word for love in each occurrence derives from agapao.”
For the Christian, agape and chassed, are the yin and yang of forgiveness.Forgiveness in the bible is often spoken of in terms of letting go of one's claim against another and of releasing debtors from the requirement to repay (Matthew 6:12–14; 15:14; 18:27, 32, 35; Luke 6:37; 7:42–43). It is also seen as a gift that is bestowed upon the one forgiven (II Corinthians 2:7–10; Ephesians 4:32).Forgiveness for the Christian is a historical communal practice based on scripture.This forgiveness can be seen as a foregoing of righteous anger and a giving of a gift whose aim is reconciliation. In modern terms, this can been seen as the practice of empathy and giving altruistic gifts. Both of these are skills and practices that could serve any individual, group and/or organization.
A friend of mine wrote the following for his Thesis. he is looking at Self-differentiation as a tool for developing leaders. I was struck by this, because a lot of work that I do is to help individuals understand how they got "stuck" and to encourage them to move forward with Faith. I'm reminded of the practicalness of "family of origin" information, as I recently spoke with a Trainer for teams that travel the country raising money for their Non-Profit. He uses family of origin training to: affirm, encourage, and empower the individual to have a greater self-awareness as they are "on the job" traveling the country.
Just before his death, Friedman began broadening these leadership concepts in A Failure of Nerve—Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix (1999). The work he completed is available in manuscript form. It is here that Friedman made the point that leadership is self-differentiation and stated that leadership capacity can be enhanced by improving one’s self-differentiation. Self-differentiation is characterized by the ability to remain calm in the presence of others’ emotions (ER), the ability to take a stand when others are pressuring conformity or herding (IP), the ability to stay in contact with those that are in or causing emotional pain (EC), and the ability to stay a self when others are promoting togetherness (FO). The ability to maintain all of this in balance is leading—it is being self-differentiated (Friedman, 1999). Further, it is the family of origin who serves as the base for how well any individual is able to be self-differentiated. Returning to the family of origin, to the extent possible, allows an individual to work through any residue or unfinished family business left within the family relationships. Working through the residue allows one to relate more fully to other family members and others in general (Friedman, 1985). Thus, an understanding of one’s own family processes will assist one in leading the self as well as leading others through similar processes that lead toward self-differentiation in them.
